Sirius
by Midnight Star and DragonFire
Summary: Through the eyes of the Prisoner of Azkaban. Story by popular demand...
1. The Prisoner of Azkaban

  
_Harry. Harry...there you are. My godson. You look so like your father. Has anyone told you that? Are you happy? Has there been anyone to guide you?   
I have failed Lily and James...utterly. I should have been there for you, Harry. I should have helped you. Instead you don't even know me. You think I'm a Muggle criminal with a gun. That's what they said on the Muggle news.   
I just want to have a closer look...before you go to Hogwarts. No! You've seen me...I can't let you see me. _ I quickly slunk away from the garage of Privet Drive.   
_ I hope I didn't scare you, Harry. I probably did. What did you think I was...something fearsome, terrible? This hurts so much...I want to tell you that I didn't do it Harry. I could never do that to your parents. They were my best friends.   
But how can I deny it? It was all my fault...it was I who convinced Lily and James to use Wormtail. Wormtail. His name tastes bitter in my mouth.   
How could I have been so gullible? That doesn't matter. I was.   
Enough of thought...enough of deliberation. I must continue my journey. I will see you there, Harry. See you at Hogwarts. _   
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
"_Let- me -in!_" I shouted in desperation. "Let me pass, you fat idiot!"   
The picture in front of me bristled. "I told you again and again- NO! You _don't_ have the password. I WON'T let you inside!"   
"You stupid blob of paint!" I let out a howl of rage. The beast in me came out. "You don't understand!"   
In a flash, a knife flicked out of my pockets. My mind was blind as I slashed and slashed at the old canvas. The Fat Lady screamed but i took no notice.   
_Just get to Wormtail. Just get to Wormtail!_ The Fat Lady had diappeared when I stopped slashing.   
I was breathing hard but there was still no way in. Suddenly, I heard laughter. I Transfigured quickly and bounded down the hall and hopefully out of sight.   
My hands shook. I had slashed the Fat Lady. The painting that had been so nice to me at Hogwarts. Who had even let me in after a late night escapade with James. I had slashed her.   
I shook my head quickly. _You are here for a purpose. Just get Wormtail. You've waited too long for this. Too long. _   
~*~*~*~*~*~  
He looked exactly like his father in those scarlet Quidditch robes. If it wasn't for the scar and the eyes I could have mistaken him for James. My best friend James. That's why it's so hard looking at him.   
The rain's pelting down. He's getting blown off course. I remember a match against Slytherin where the weather was like this. James had used an Impervius Spell on his glasses...Harry could do that too...but I didn't know how to get the idea to him.   
A bag was lying on the floor nearby. It belonged to that bushy-haired girl that Harry was friends with. I had seen them and who was unmistakably Arthur Weasley's son together.   
"_Accio_" I said and took out a spell book from the bag. I opened the page to the Impervius spell and placed the books back nearby her. I picked up a small pebble and flung it at the stands.   
I slunk back into the shadows, a great, shaggy dog once more.   
I saw her look, puzzled at the open book. Then a bright expression lit her face and she jumped down from the stands.   
A warm feeling entered me...one I hadn't had for a long, long time...some meagre form of, for want of a better word, contentment. This quickly dissipated as I saw Harry see me.   
I merged back into the shadows.   
He looked away. _Dear God, no!_ At least a hundred Dementors were entering the field. Harry stopped and looked at them. My insides froze with fear.   
I saw Harry lose his balance and start to fall. _No! Harry!_   
"_Decraeseum_" I shouted rashly, making Harry slow down before he hit the ground. Dumbledore was bound to notice it but I couldn't let anything happen to him.   
I saw his Nimbus get caught on a gust of wind and hit the Whomping Willow. With incredible violence, the tree smashed it into two and battered it unmercifully.   
_What will Harry do now?_ I vaguely remembered something I saw in Hogsmeade as I had snuck through it. A mail order form in the window of Quality Quidditch Supplies. An idea formed in my mind. A small way to say sorry. I smiled and was gone.   
~*~*~*~*~*~  
"Password, you scurvy rascal!"   
I grimaced asI read off the weeks passwords to the overeager knight in the portrait. I had an urge to slash his glib face but I felt guilty about The Fat Lady.   
"Enter, yon sir!" I stole in. I had gotten the passwords from a sheet of paper that a small freckly kid had left about.   
He looked like Frank Longbottom...Frank and I had known each other before. Killed by who people thought were my co-conspirators.  
I slipped into the boys dormitory, sensing my way. I was up to the first kid. I leaned in closer, but I couldn't see through the hangings. I gre impatient. My reason evaporated and I flicked out my knife and slashed viciously at the curtains.   
The red-haired boy woke up and looked at me for a second. I started to put a finger to my lips but he screamed a terrible, bloodcurlding scream that shook even me, with my Azkaban experience.   
I transformed and bounded out of the Dormitory. I hadn't even seen my godson.   
~*~*~*~*~  
I saw him. Wormtail. _Get Wormtail! Get Wormtail!_ Every inch of my canine body screamed.   
I leaped towards him but overshot and landed on Harry. I didn't have time to feel sorry and lunged towards the boy that was holding Wormtail.   
I clamped my jaws on him and started to drag the kicking bundle into The Whomping Willow. I could see Harry and bushy-hair following me dimly.   
I finally reached the base of the willow. The red-head had wrapped his feet around a root. I did not have time to be considerate. I gave a mighty heave which was followed by a sickening crack that rent the air.   
A raw energy had possessed me. _Get Wormtail! Get Wormtail!_   
I dragged the boy onward through the passage. He had started to scream loudly. I dragged him up to The Shrieking Shack and up through the staircase. He bumped painfully on each stair.   
I deposited red-head on the floor and Transfigured back.   
Harry and bushy-hair came in a few seconds later. I dimly heard them talking. I turned and tried to grin at Harry.   
"_Expelliarmus._" I croaked at them. I fixed my eyes on Harry and spoke to him.   
I don't even clearly remember what I said. I wanted to tell him how much like James he was but I think he took it as mocking.   
His ears started to go slightly red. I knew he was in a rage. James' ears were the same.   
The conversation continued for a while. I was too focussed on Pettigrew. I can't even remember-...  
He jumped on me and started hitting me.   
"No...I've waited too long!" _Get Wormtail! GET WORMTAIL!_   
My fingers closed around his throat. I don't understand how I could've-...Bushy hair kicked me, red-head grabbed my wand-hand and I let go.   
Crookshanks tried to help me out. I remember him clawing and biting...  
I ended up sprawled out, leaning on the wall. Harry was pointing his wand at me.   
"Going to kill me, Harry?" I whispered.   
~*~*~*~*~*~*   
Authors note:   
Never fear! We will be doing a sequel! How do you like it so far?? We've had lots of requests to do more Sirius Black PoV's...if you haven't read any of our other SB PoV's please do read them! Just do a search for 'midnight star and dragonfire'   
Reveiws are GREATLY appreciated by us! Please, please reveiw...like most mortals (or immortals for that matter) we like knowing what other people think...  
Thinking of Flaming us?? Don't. We _really_ hate it.   
Sorry bout Typo's, inconsistencies etc. Pls DON'T tell us bout those, but about our writing!!   
Thankyou for reading and a great big *hugz* to all ppl who reveiw and have revewied...fanfic writers luv y'all!! 


	2. The Goblet of Fire

  
"You killed my parents." Harry's voice shook and my soul almost imploded.   
I could sense the pain and also the _hatred_ in those words. Yet how could I deny it? "I don't deny it, but if you knew the whole story-..."   
He interrupted me.   
"You've got to listen to me!" I said, desperate. He had to understand. "You'll regret it if you don't...you don't understand."   
He answered me...I didn't hear the words but the sound of his voice was enough. It was filled with rage and betrayal.   
Suddenly I felt a thud on my chest. Crookshanks was sitting, right over my heart. "Get off, Crookshanks."   
He had helped me too much...he must not die saving my life. I tried to push him off again but he dug his claws in deeper. I winced.   
I steadied myself with a deep breath...waiting for the knell of death. It was only fair, I had killed his parents...  
I heard footsteps...distinctive footsteps. I knew them. What seemed like aeons of mist cleared from my brain.   
I jerked convulsively as bushy-hair shouted.   
Those were the footsteps of..._MOONY_!, my brain and soul screamed. _Moony, my old friend..._ Yet he didn't care about me now...he didn't understand what happened. My body remained silent. I wiped some blood from my face. I touched it and realised how terrible I must look.   
Not like the Sirius Black that he knew, but a face-less, almost soul-less..._Prisoner of Azkaban_. He Disarmed Harry and bushy hair.   
I wish I could say my heart felt more at ease but it did not. My old friend hated me. My Godson was trying to kill me. Dumbledore didn't believe me. Who would weep on my grave? Who would care?   
_Nobody_   
"Where is he, Sirius?" Lupin said, addressing me. I didn't realise what he meant. He had called not called me Padfoot but he had adressed me. I slowly realised he knew. I slowly raised a hand and pointed it at Arthur Weasley's son.   
"But then...why hasn't he shown himself before now? Unless-..." My heart leapt. Lupin _understood_. "- unless _he_ was the one...unless you switched...without telling me?"   
I gazed at Moony intently. It was almost unreal, the moment I had been dreaming of for fourteen years...I slowly nodded.   
"Professor Lupin, what's going-?" Harry said. I did not look or think about him.   
Lupin lowered his wand. He walked slowly to my side and helped me to my feet. When his hand touched mine I felt memories flowing back to me...it had been long years since a human being had _touched_ me. He embraced me and it felt like I was leading my old life.   
~*~*~*~*~*  
Severus Snape pulled off the invisibilty cloak, his wand pointing directly at Lupin.   
_No! Not now! Not now! Not after they've almost understood!"_ I leapt to my feet.   
_Snape, please, please!_ I begged, silently. _Forgive me for a childish joke! What is wrong with you? Can't you see that I don't deserve this? Nobody deserves Azkaban. Will you toss me to the Dementors for a single mistake? Have you no forgiveness. _ BANG! Snakelike cords shot out of Severus wand, wrapping around Lupin. He tottered and then overbalanced, falling on the ground with a dull thud.   
_You will not stop me!_ I roared with animalistic rage and leapt toward him. Snape pointed the wand straight at my forehead.   
"Give me a reason. Give me a reason to do it and I swear I will." His voice breathed hatred.   
My face twisted and all the bitterness and rage from Azkaban moulded my features.   
Bushy Hair stepped forward and said something to Snape. Never taking his eyes off me, he said something in the superior tone he had developed at school.   
"But- if there was a mistake-"   
"KEEP QUIET, YOU STUPID GIRL!" A few sparks shot out of his wand close to me.   
He looked deranged, out of control. I could recognise dementia when I saw it. I had seen too much in Azkaban. The screams before their dying moments...I shuddered.   
"Up to the castle? I don't think we need to go that far. All I have to do is call the Dementors when we get out of the Willow." Malice fired his words. "They'll be pleased to see you...pleased enough to give you a little kiss, I daresay."   
I felt the blood leave my face. Death was surmountable, but soullessness. The utter cruelty of it. A tight knot of fear settled at the base of my chest. Like a void...like a Dementor inside of me, tearing at me.   
"You've got to hear me out- the rat-..." I mumbled and croaked.   
Madness had possesed Snape and he could not shake it loose.   
He unbound Lupin and muttered something to him. Harry suddenly jerked to life and blocked the door.   
I gazed at him in awe. His spirit was just like James'.   
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Much happened after that...but it pales in comparison to what happened after.   
I can still feel and savour the sweetness of going back to my old life. For that one brief moment, I felt like the old me. Then I was jerked back to being Sirius the convict. The fugitive. The criminal.   
But a great weight had been lifted off of me. Harry and Moony knew that I didn't kill Lily and James.   
_They knew._   
Losing Wormtail was not such a bitter disappointment after all. Nothing could be, what with the sweetness of Harry's eager voice when I asked him to come stay. He _wanted_ to stay with me.   
....  
I yelped with pain as the Werewolf tore into my flesh once more. Every fibre of me screamed to protect myself, to gnash my teeth against his skin, but I resisted. I could not hurt Moony. Not after tonight.   
Lupin thundered off and I transfigured back. My vision was blurred with blood. Great tears in my skin flashed fire in my brain. I shuddered and rolled over.   
I suddenly saw the Dementor lowering it's hood. I was transported back. My mind was confused.  
All I saw was the Dementor trying to kill James Potter.   
"Stop! James, no!" I croaked feebly, my voice not complying with my mind. Then I saw him...  
James' ghost was back. _Prongs!_ My mind snapped back to semi-clarity.   
_James is helping Harry. He's going to be all right._ Was the last though flashing in my brain before blackness closed in on me and I fainted clean away.   
I woke up in a desolate room in the tower.   
They were going to take away my soul.   
A fate worse than death. My lips curved into a creaky, ironic smile. It sounds so melodramatic. So unreal. _So true._   
My hands shook. I felt like throwing up. I chided myself for being so selfish. All I thought about was me.   
_Me._ I couldn't think about the people I loved. I couldn't think about Harry or James or Lily or Lupin. All that entered my mind was me.   
_Sirius, you are a monster. You are a goddamned monster. You deserve this. You understand that? You are a selfish, worthless piece of-..._   
"Hi there!" A voice called. Harry's voice. _You're hallucinating, you fool. _   
Against my will, I looked up and saw Harry suspended in mid-air.   
I rose up and tapped the glass. He motioned for me to stand back and burst the window open.   
"How- _how_-?" I said, weakly. I was in utter shock.   
"Get on, there's not much time!" Harry shouted.   
I heaved my head and shoulders out of the narrow window and threw my leg over on the giant bird-creature- _Hippogriff_, I realised.   
The Hippogriff gave one mighty sweep of it's wings and we soared up. My heart rose with each wingfall.   
The sound of the air rushing past seemed to be saying _Free. Free. FREE._   
I laughed giddily.   
Free.   
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Authors Note: Hope you liked it *Midnight Star, here, btw*   
Pls r/r, it's the essence of life 4 us fic writers. Thanx 2 all those ppl who inspired me 2 make a sequel to Sirius.   
No sequels to this. Sorry for using the book so much but I kind of had to...  
Don't flame me, or us, because Dragonfire has a mouth as clean as a bucket of coal.   
Thanx 4 readin'! Pls read my other fics...Ciao! *Midnightz gone-;)* 


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